Love the life that’s in front of you
Remember a while back when I wrote about ‘becoming me as a mom’? Well, here I am again, this time as a 40-year-old mother of two. And as much as I’d love to say that I have it all figured out, the reality is, I have to learn it all over again.
Just today, I was so proud of myself. I arranged Koa’s sitter to come early so that I could fit in a MELT Neuro-strength class at La Colectiva, Then I was going to pop over to the new pottery studio in town, StudioMano, where I have been tapping back into my artistic side though ceramics. Then maybe a little lunch with my honey. And I had my computer work lined up while the baby takes his afternoon nap. Yay me, right!? Work-life-mom-me balance!
And then…
The power went out last night so Koa woke up early in his stuffy room. Thought he may snooze again when Ayla woke up at 5:30 with a 102 fever. Cancelled the sitter, Ayla’s home from school, Matias has meetings so mama is home with the kiddos and my day now belongs to them.
Let me say this, I love my kids. I love being their mom. And I treasure the time I have with them. Even when they’re sick or cranky or it’s raining and we can’t shake it off at the beach and in the ocean. Each moment is so precious and I don’t take any of this for granted.
AND…I am bummed! Just when I think I am taking a step forward into balance, I feel like I am forced to take two steps back. At no fault of his own, I kind of resent my husband because his day doesn’t have to change. Mine does. He can go to work as planned. Probably surf this afternoon and be home in time to play with babes while I make dinner.
It’s an age old story. It is the grumblings of almost every mother I have ever met who is willing to talk about how they really feel. But whether you are a mother, an aunt, a father, or just a friend, please keep reading. This isn’t just a hormonal b*tch-fest. There are some nuggets in here, I promise.
No matter what the picture of your life looks like, here are some things that helped me navigate this morning.
Step number one:
GROUND IN GRATITUDE.
I am fortunate to be able to rework my day so that I can stay home with my kids. I can be present to nurture and care for them. It is a gift that I can give them that I can only hope will stay with them as they grow. Not every parent has this luxury and I know that. The sun is shining, it’s my dads birthday, and I am listening to the multitude of birds in the trees outside my windows.
Step two:
DON’T GIVE UP!
While the kids are napping, I am writing, partly for ‘work’, but also as my own self-care tool. If I keep my frustrations about this morning inside, they will manifest themselves in another, probably unhealthy way at another time. I am learning to be present with my family, and also carve out time for myself. I asked Matias before he left today if he could please find a couple of hours in the day where he can be home with the kids so I can focus on myself for a bit. I am determined to still make the most of the day!
LOVE THE LIFE THAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU.
After my blog a while back, a friend shared with me this phrase. It is so simple, very yogic, and also not so easy to do while we are focused on the way we wish things were rather than loving them as they are. It is easy to get caught in expectation. I thought my day would unfold in a certain way, and it’s disappointing when things don’t work out they way you want them to. So after my initial reaction, I ask myself, ‘How can I reframe this?’ I can do that by grounding in gratitude, being resilient in my commitment to being a present, loving mother who also carves out time for herself, loving my life as it is now, and having awareness of the whole picture.
AWARENESS ALTERS YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
When you can step out of the immediacy of disappointment, frustration, sadness, whatever it is, then you can have a better awareness of the big picture. And today, my big picture is filled with love, a beautiful family, time with my kids, sunshine, and hopefully still a couple of hours to myself. And tomorrow is a new day.
I will continue to come back to my art in the forms it presents itself today. I will write and read and eat nourishing meals. I will move my body to stay strong and connected, and I will rest to soothe my systems. I commit to being an ever evolving, flowing & growing version of me, true to my roots and open to expansion in whatever ways it manifests.
If all you do is skim and read the bullet points, I hope this serves you in some way.
GROUND IN GRATITUDE.
DON’T GIVE UP!
LOVE THE LIFE THAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU.
AWARENESS ALTERS YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
Make the most of the journey of this day, this moment. Life is precious and fleeting.
Sending you and yours love, light, health and abundance.
Today and always,
Loren